The Invention that Changes Everything!

OK, I realize that I am one of those rare men who post on a blog sometimes, and the post has nothing to do about sports, or hot chicks, although I do talk about steaks, ice cream, nachos, and other foodstuffs occasionally. As a man, I am prone to saying some really insensitive and stupid things sometimes. Case in point, I recently pointed out to my wife how well another woman in our ward seems to handle three kids at home while her husband works full-time. BAD IDEA. The aftermath of that comment I made is still being felt in the Newcomer household. No matter how much I apologize, the stain of that remark seems to linger, and there is no soothing laundry detergent for words that can get it out. However, I thought about a way to sort of heal the hurting words, the bitter feelings, a little better. Introducing.........




THE EMOTIONAL CAMERA.
The Emotional Camera (EC) would take emotional photographs of different moments in life. Equipped with a delete button, anytime a snapshot of bad emotions is taken, it can be quickly forgotten. With a special "fleshy tables of the heart" gajigabite memory, all the positive feelings, all the lovey-doveys and gooshy-wooshies, all the "awww...Trevs" and "You're amazings" would be saved. Then, in a moment of weakness, that moment where my mouth has formed words, and my tongue is in the midst of delivering said words, but my mind is just beginning to understand the emotionally traumatic impact of the words, I can relax. As my significant other begins to form a sad and dissapointed, even dejected face, I can whip out the EC. "Here baby, take a look at this one..doesn't that feel good? Remember how wonderful I was that time? Oh, look at this one here, when we had a wonderful time and I told you how beautiful you are, and how lucky I am to have met you, and how incredibly miraculous it was for me to somehow convince you to marry me..remember that. doesn't that feel wonderful?" (Actually, that last one might cause more bad than good, but you get the idea).

The EC would help promote marital health, good relationships, shiny happy people holding hands, everything good.

Now I just need to invent it.

Where do they learn this stuff?

Ellen likes to sleep with her arms covering her eyes. I have a theory of why Ellen does it so much. I figure she is so used to covering her eyes for the times I make a run from the shower to my dresser, that her body just naturally reverts to the same pose when she sleeps. Still, that doesn't explain why my 9-month old daughter does it. Is it in the genes?

For the other picture, I have no idea where Rayley learned to act like that. She barely knows how to give me a kiss, much less some young little studmuffin like Benji here.