Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Invention that Changes Everything!

OK, I realize that I am one of those rare men who post on a blog sometimes, and the post has nothing to do about sports, or hot chicks, although I do talk about steaks, ice cream, nachos, and other foodstuffs occasionally. As a man, I am prone to saying some really insensitive and stupid things sometimes. Case in point, I recently pointed out to my wife how well another woman in our ward seems to handle three kids at home while her husband works full-time. BAD IDEA. The aftermath of that comment I made is still being felt in the Newcomer household. No matter how much I apologize, the stain of that remark seems to linger, and there is no soothing laundry detergent for words that can get it out. However, I thought about a way to sort of heal the hurting words, the bitter feelings, a little better. Introducing.........




THE EMOTIONAL CAMERA.
The Emotional Camera (EC) would take emotional photographs of different moments in life. Equipped with a delete button, anytime a snapshot of bad emotions is taken, it can be quickly forgotten. With a special "fleshy tables of the heart" gajigabite memory, all the positive feelings, all the lovey-doveys and gooshy-wooshies, all the "awww...Trevs" and "You're amazings" would be saved. Then, in a moment of weakness, that moment where my mouth has formed words, and my tongue is in the midst of delivering said words, but my mind is just beginning to understand the emotionally traumatic impact of the words, I can relax. As my significant other begins to form a sad and dissapointed, even dejected face, I can whip out the EC. "Here baby, take a look at this one..doesn't that feel good? Remember how wonderful I was that time? Oh, look at this one here, when we had a wonderful time and I told you how beautiful you are, and how lucky I am to have met you, and how incredibly miraculous it was for me to somehow convince you to marry me..remember that. doesn't that feel wonderful?" (Actually, that last one might cause more bad than good, but you get the idea).

The EC would help promote marital health, good relationships, shiny happy people holding hands, everything good.

Now I just need to invent it.

5 comments:

Jeanie Doll said...

:) When you do invent it my husband will be needing one. LOL

kanaboke said...

that would be a lovely invention for men...which might prepetuate even more "bad behavior" my dear...but girls need one too, so if and when you invent the EC lemme know!

Lacey.costner said...

oh my trevor.....NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER compare your wife to another woman....not smart....in the Costner household that would be at least a week on the couch, and with holding of physical activities for a few weeks.....not a good idea!! Your invention sounds GENIUS!! Necessity is the mother of invention right?

Adam and Melisa said...

I think that's already been invented...it's called a Dozen Red Roses!!

Lori and Brian Faulconer said...

If you are referring to the comment you made to us at the Fisher wedding, I think Ellen could benefit from a camera at my house. We could stick it up in the corner and she could watch as I have emotional breakdown after emotional breakdown. Or as I sit and nurse the baby and have no ability to stop Henry from hitting MaryEllen over the head with a baseball bat. I think she would feel pretty good about herself!