Sunday, August 16, 2009

Like a Freak on a Leash




I've never been a fan of Korn for several reasons. First, whats up with the K? Are you trying to be scary? If you want to be scary, and use the word Korn, just make it corn, like "Children of the Corn." That movie series is so scary, I have never even seen it. Still, some feral children with scathes and reapers hiding in some tall corn killing a bunch of people frightens me to this day. I've never seen any of the films, and I haven't even checked it out on Wikipedia, but my fear is based on some assumptions based on some overheard conversations in junior high from some fairly credible sources. KORN. Is it an acronym? Kids' Own Runny Noses? Kentucky's Original Red Necks? I see a made-for-TV movie about a renegade band of biker dudes from Kentucky, black leather jackets on, with a really mean looking ear of corn embroidered under the letters K-O-R-N.

Now, the reason for the Korn references is simple. The band Korn had one major hit song, "Freak on a Leash." My little girl can seem like a freak on a leash. Thats the connection. Thats the whole entire reason why the above paragraph exists.

Ellen has finally discovered Target, something I was passively trying to protect my wallet from for the past few years. I've seen what Target can do to a woman. Suddenly, overpowered by the siren call of the simple red dot surrounded by a circle, a woman finds all sorts of crap she never intended to buy, that suddenly become "must haves." I don't want to hear any baloney about how a guy shopping at Home Depot does the same thing, because in those cases, the items purchased are actually useful, its just that sometimes I never get around to using them. Well, during one of Ellen's 3 sojourns to Target this week (yikes!), she stumbled across this monkey on a backpack thingamajiggy, which you fasten to a toddler. We have only used it for a day, but Rayley has already decided its not a good thing for her to be wearing. In one particular pic, you can tell that Mom is not too thrilled with having to hold back the reigns when Rayley wants to touch everything within 30 feet.

2 comments:

Adam and Melisa said...

Just take the kid to Disneyland...then you'll be very appreciative for the monkey thingamajiggy!!

Lori and Brian Faulconer said...

Are you trying to say that the three note pads, 6 clearance cuppa soup's, 2 jumbo sized Nesquik's (1 strawberry, 1 chocolate), 2 boxes of Diapers, and sequined thong- toed wedge sandals that I bought on yesterdays Target run aren't useful?! (okay, after typing the words, "sequined thong- toed wedge sandals", I'll give you that one.)