The Valentine's Day Dialogue

One of the joys of being married to a non-native English speaker is the various unique turns of phrase that emanate from my sweetheart's mouth. For Valentines day, I had flowers delivered to the house. Ellen had been asking for weeks if I was going to get her anything, and of course I told her "I am definitely not getting flowers, that is so overrated and overdone. I'll make sure you get something different and unique." Upon hearing that, Ellen became more and more worried that my creative mind would get her something completely awful, a direct-to-D.I. kind of present or something. So, when Valentine's day came, she pretty much assumed she was getting nothing. When the flowers came, she was caught off guard, and didn't know what to do for me. She thought for a minute, then rushed together my gift. When I got home, she had just finished it: freshly baked banana muffins. That was great in and of itself, but the cute part was the note written on the fridge: "Happy Valentine's Day. Please pretent the mufens are heart shape." My heart melted when I read that.